stranger danger

Listen buddy, we all went through that "culture jamming" phase where we got our minds blown by the concept of guerrilla advertising, and thought that we could curb commercialism by inverting societal norms. Bad news for you- inverting societal norms, is normal now, so the only way to be different is to be normal. Get into it.
But we both know there's a bigger issue we need to discuss here, right? I mean the real elephant in the room. And that is your complete and total inability to draw hands!!! Look at those fucking things! They look like each and every person reaching for this box is the mangled survivor of either a farm combine accident or a meat grinder! Apparently in addition to your recent epiphany about society, you also gained access to a sharpie AND you learned to draw wavy knuckle wrinkle lines? Enough already! Its overkill! Its okay to not detail out every single knuckle line, because if you do, as you've demonstrated, you end up with over developed fingers, and bloated white meat-chunks for palms, the result of which you have horrifyingly covered your stupid newspaper box with, which, by the way, we all know you stole. And seriously? What the HELL is happening with that arm hair stubble?
I think its best for everyone if you just put your marker down and go back to reading Radar or whatever zine your fake friend from the commune is working on.

Also, I happen to know that one of the local homeless dudes keeps his sleeping bag and stuff in the Weekly Dig box right next to this, so your box is pretty much guaranteed to be filled with piss, vomit, trash, or bedbugs in 5...4...3...2...

climate: overcast, looks like its cold, but actually isn't.
location: outside the 1369 coffee shop on mass ave
somewhat relevant local news article:
dude. your mom?? seriously?
mode of transportation: rain boots

the eyes have it

I wish I had seen this awesome Halloween decoration at night, because I bet those eyes glow, which would be some freaky Through the Looking Glass shit.
Yeah, yeah, I know Halloween was a few weeks ago, but this decoration was worth the belated post. And I heard people were getting too friendly with the Sausage Pig, so it was time to re-up.

climate: warm! surprisingly warm!
location: Jay Street
somewhat relevant local news article:
They're watching you.
mode of transportation: sneaks

Sausage Pig

(scene takes place at a grocery store in Maryland)

me: Oh my god, what the HELL is that? Is that a PIG sculpted from SAUSAGE MEAT???

my dad: What, you've never seen that before?

me: Uh, no. That is disgusting.

my dad: Oh, they do that all in all the grocery stores at home (michigan)

me: Dad, its a PIG hand sculpted from SAUSAGE MEAT.

dad: Its normal!

me: ...

dad: Okay, its gross. I have to get the hell out of the midwest.

climate: raining
location: Martin's Grocery in Maryland
somewhat relevant local news article:
I think there was a Law & Order episode about this
mode of transportation: rain boots

Clean As A Whistle

All I know is that I wouldn't f with a pirate that owns a laundromat, even if his name is "Captain Bubbles."

climate: overcast, mid 50's
location: Mass Ave
somewhat relevant local news article:
this kid needs to clean up his act.
(actually the first comment is even funnier than the article)
mode of transportation: striped sneaks

aquaman

This picture isn't the greatest, but this is the cover of a manhole on Putnam Ave. Its a little scuba dude! So why is Scuba Dude on a manhole cover? I don't know, but if there ever was a time that I saw my life rapidly turning into an animated Disney movie, this was it. If I pried off that cover, BAM! I'd be a cartoon, and I'd fall into an underworld lagoon with clown fish and friendly lobsters. So I guess the real question here is:
Scuba Dude, are you my cartoon buddy or... my ARCH-NEMESIS???

climate: sunny days...
location: Putnam Ave
somewhat relevant local news article:
city council meeting notes. their mickey mouse meetings make them just like cartoons too! here's a lil' completely irrelevant item from the meeting:

City councilors want to end the violence in the Democratic Republic of Congo and are sending the United States government their message with a resolution approved Monday night.

Yeah. Because that's a good use of time. (look, I'm not against ending violence. I'm just thinking that making it an agenda item in the weekly Cambridge City Council meeting probably isn't going to accomplish much.)
mode of transportation: silver flats

this sign makes me want to punch someone in the face

Yeah there's no traffic.
BECAUSE NO ONE CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL A KWIK EXIT IS!
Look at this, making me use all caps. Are you happy now?? You should be ashamed of yourself.

climate: whatever. I'm too angry to talk about the weather.
location: Chatham
somewhat relevant local news article: this guy probably likes kwik exits
mode of transportation: subaru

frog blog

Hey check me out, I'm a contractor frog! I'm wearing overalls! And I have a pocket to hold my frog pen and frog pencil. And apparently my overalls stop at my tiny frog knees!

Nice try, contractor frog with an overly smug expression, but I see you for the contractor frog impersonator you really are. We all know if you were a real contractor frog, you'd be wearing a hard hat.

climate: warm and wet, just the way a frog likes it.
location: Pearl St.
somewhat relevant local news article:
MIT launches concrete lab
mode of transportation: sneaks, jumping