Sausage Pig

(scene takes place at a grocery store in Maryland)

me: Oh my god, what the HELL is that? Is that a PIG sculpted from SAUSAGE MEAT???

my dad: What, you've never seen that before?

me: Uh, no. That is disgusting.

my dad: Oh, they do that all in all the grocery stores at home (michigan)

me: Dad, its a PIG hand sculpted from SAUSAGE MEAT.

dad: Its normal!

me: ...

dad: Okay, its gross. I have to get the hell out of the midwest.

climate: raining
location: Martin's Grocery in Maryland
somewhat relevant local news article:
I think there was a Law & Order episode about this
mode of transportation: rain boots

Clean As A Whistle

All I know is that I wouldn't f with a pirate that owns a laundromat, even if his name is "Captain Bubbles."

climate: overcast, mid 50's
location: Mass Ave
somewhat relevant local news article:
this kid needs to clean up his act.
(actually the first comment is even funnier than the article)
mode of transportation: striped sneaks

aquaman

This picture isn't the greatest, but this is the cover of a manhole on Putnam Ave. Its a little scuba dude! So why is Scuba Dude on a manhole cover? I don't know, but if there ever was a time that I saw my life rapidly turning into an animated Disney movie, this was it. If I pried off that cover, BAM! I'd be a cartoon, and I'd fall into an underworld lagoon with clown fish and friendly lobsters. So I guess the real question here is:
Scuba Dude, are you my cartoon buddy or... my ARCH-NEMESIS???

climate: sunny days...
location: Putnam Ave
somewhat relevant local news article:
city council meeting notes. their mickey mouse meetings make them just like cartoons too! here's a lil' completely irrelevant item from the meeting:

City councilors want to end the violence in the Democratic Republic of Congo and are sending the United States government their message with a resolution approved Monday night.

Yeah. Because that's a good use of time. (look, I'm not against ending violence. I'm just thinking that making it an agenda item in the weekly Cambridge City Council meeting probably isn't going to accomplish much.)
mode of transportation: silver flats

this sign makes me want to punch someone in the face

Yeah there's no traffic.
BECAUSE NO ONE CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL A KWIK EXIT IS!
Look at this, making me use all caps. Are you happy now?? You should be ashamed of yourself.

climate: whatever. I'm too angry to talk about the weather.
location: Chatham
somewhat relevant local news article: this guy probably likes kwik exits
mode of transportation: subaru

frog blog

Hey check me out, I'm a contractor frog! I'm wearing overalls! And I have a pocket to hold my frog pen and frog pencil. And apparently my overalls stop at my tiny frog knees!

Nice try, contractor frog with an overly smug expression, but I see you for the contractor frog impersonator you really are. We all know if you were a real contractor frog, you'd be wearing a hard hat.

climate: warm and wet, just the way a frog likes it.
location: Pearl St.
somewhat relevant local news article:
MIT launches concrete lab
mode of transportation: sneaks, jumping