tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6693672713581254092011-11-27T20:17:07.088-05:00true stories of things that happen when i'm just minding my own beeswaxcitizen smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05673003502446347863noreply@blogger.comBlogger201100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-33774893271960888742009-11-15T10:35:00.009-05:002009-11-15T11:20:58.382-05:00

Listen buddy, we all went through that "culture jamming" phase where we got our minds blown by the concept of guerrilla advertising, and thought that we could curb commercialism by inverting societal norms. Bad news for you- inverting societal norms, is normal now, so the only way to be different is to be normal. Get into it.But we both know there's a bigger issue we need to discuss here, right?

Citizen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07735916191064962595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-58002298356081656862009-11-09T16:10:00.005-05:002009-11-09T16:26:32.485-05:00

I wish I had seen this awesome Halloween decoration at night, because I bet those eyes glow, which would be some freaky Through the Looking Glass shit.Yeah, yeah, I know Halloween was a few weeks ago, but this decoration was worth the belated post. And I heard people were getting too friendly with the Sausage Pig, so it was time to re-up.climate: warm! surprisingly warm!location: Jay

Citizen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07735916191064962595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-19068775161227263742009-10-19T14:04:00.005-04:002009-10-19T14:41:08.818-04:00

(scene takes place at a grocery store in Maryland) me: Oh my god, what the HELL is that? Is that a PIG sculpted from SAUSAGE MEAT??? my dad: What, you've never seen that before? me: Uh, no. That is disgusting. my dad: Oh, they do that all in all the grocery stores at home (michigan) me: Dad, its a PIG hand sculpted from SAUSAGE MEAT. dad: Its normal! me: ... dad: Okay, its gross. I have

Citizen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07735916191064962595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-79707861615186189202009-10-09T18:09:00.005-04:002009-10-09T18:34:24.512-04:00

All I know is that I wouldn't f with a pirate that owns a laundromat, even if his name is "Captain Bubbles."climate: overcast, mid 50'slocation: Mass Avesomewhat relevant local news article:this kid needs to clean up his act. (actually the first comment is even funnier than the article)mode of transportation: striped sneaks

Citizen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07735916191064962595noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-87331532467261188492009-10-08T11:53:00.007-04:002009-10-08T12:29:20.902-04:00

This picture isn't the greatest, but this is the cover of a manhole on Putnam Ave. Its a little scuba dude! So why is Scuba Dude on a manhole cover? I don't know, but if there ever was a time that I saw my life rapidly turning into an animated Disney movie, this was it. If I pried off that cover, BAM! I'd be a cartoon, and I'd fall into an underworld lagoon with clown fish and friendly lobsters.

Citizen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07735916191064962595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-44148961596776577032009-10-07T11:00:00.003-04:002009-10-07T11:00:03.876-04:00

Yeah there's no traffic.BECAUSE NO ONE CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL A KWIK EXIT IS!Look at this, making me use all caps. Are you happy now?? You should be ashamed of yourself.climate: whatever. I'm too angry to talk about the weather.location: Chathamsomewhat relevant local news article: this guy probably likes kwik exitsmode of transportation: subaru

Citizen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07735916191064962595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-79891739176108679722009-10-05T21:53:00.007-04:002009-10-05T22:24:45.253-04:00

Hey check me out, I'm a contractor frog! I'm wearing overalls! And I have a pocket to hold my frog pen and frog pencil. And apparently my overalls stop at my tiny frog knees!Nice try, contractor frog with an overly smug expression, but I see you for the contractor frog impersonator you really are. We all know if you were a real contractor frog, you'd be wearing a hard hat.climate: warm and wet,

Citizen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07735916191064962595noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-5608605474580695522009-08-26T15:11:00.006-04:002009-09-01T11:43:11.903-04:00

What? No specials? That's SO CRAZY!!! Like, three exclamation points crazy!!! Your advertising is just so edgy and in-your-face that I'm going to run right in and buy all the things on that chalkboard!Oh wait, no I'm not because I just remembered that if I'm interested in purchasing a "cold brewed iced coffee" its probably not because of your witty chalkboard advertisement, its because I want an

citizen smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05673003502446347863noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-47917772687218144632009-08-21T10:00:00.003-04:002009-08-26T14:53:09.808-04:00

I'm just putting this out there for your consideration, but if the Somerville Boxing Club's "home" is the Central Square YMCA, shouldn't they change their name to... oh, I don't know, lets see....umm, what about...no... oh! THE CAMBRIDGE BOXING CLUB????Well, maybe they already had their t-shirts made. And on second thought, I probably shouldn't harass people who punch each other for recreational

citizen smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05673003502446347863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-19362630780693717872009-08-20T10:00:00.003-04:002009-08-20T10:00:02.025-04:00

Guess which trash can belongs to the Commie?Actually I had a few lines for this photo:Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?One of these things is not like the othersBut none of them seem very witty to me. I'm having an off day. Someone give me a better caption.climate: sunny. hot.location: Putnam Avesomewhat relevant local news story:Police hunt for Cambridge Foot Licker. what??mode of transportation:

citizen smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05673003502446347863noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-19252130492689766902009-08-19T10:00:00.006-04:002009-08-19T10:31:42.466-04:00

So there I was, chillaxin' in the Brueggers Bagels that's connected to the Shaws, enjoying my rosemary and olive oil squagel (squagels! not your old man's bagels!), when this lady sits down at the next table. I eyed her nondescript Shaws double-bag and didn't think much of it. Maybe she's just another squagel fan, right?WRONG! SO WRONG!!The broad had swiped a plastic spoon from the milk-and-sugar

citizen smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05673003502446347863noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-25579562858092228342009-08-18T10:00:00.004-04:002009-08-18T10:00:02.440-04:00

I'm no grammar police (except when I am, like right now) but wouldn't this read better like this?Great DesignAt An EvenBetter PriceAs written, I'm not sure it makes any sense. Are they saying that usually when design is at a 'better price' its not 'great design'? But we all know that's not true because good design is expensive.I don't know what you're trying to get at, Bo, but I do know its not

citizen smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05673003502446347863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-73995924646882457342009-08-17T13:27:00.006-04:002009-08-17T14:09:26.541-04:00

Just thinking out loud here, but I don't think this is what they had in mind when they talk about "green emissions".climate: sunny, mid 90'slocation: view mapsomewhat relevant local news story:city owned cars cost cambridge $52k a year (that's it?)mode of transportation: flip flops

citizen smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05673003502446347863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-79621026559854674612009-07-30T20:48:00.002-04:002009-07-30T20:55:15.413-04:00

Oh man, did I ever call it about the tiny horse hostile take over!Recently Jon Stewart interviewed Spinal Tap, and guess what Nigel Tufnel has been up to? Raising tiny horses!!The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10cSpinal Tapwww.thedailyshow.comDaily ShowFull EpisodesPolitical HumorJoke of the Day

citizen smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05673003502446347863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-24762756859686678702009-07-30T20:27:00.006-04:002009-08-17T14:10:37.422-04:00

Saw this box of slide carousals on Mass Ave. If it wasn't all soaking wet, I might have been tempted to poke around and see what they were slides of, but I don't like getting dirty during before noon, so I didn't. The box is clearly marked "Free!! Learn Something!" Learn something? What could be on those slides? Mid 1950's sex ed information? Awkward family vacation pictures where Uncle Ron

citizen smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05673003502446347863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-66658325056253065842009-07-29T14:54:00.004-04:002009-07-29T20:49:14.924-04:00

I've always liked the way this utility box on Mass Ave is painted. The books might not be real, but the hours are way more convenient than the local branch of the public library. Also, right after I took this picture I was accosted by those two vultures in red. They wanted me to "save the children." Save the children? Please. Those children better learn to save themselves, and fast, if these

citizen smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05673003502446347863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-43543783873703960842009-07-28T11:04:00.003-04:002009-07-28T11:18:05.890-04:00

"Oh man, I busted up some of the curb by accident when I was cutting the street up to do repairs.""Uh-oh, not good! You're going to have to pull out that entire piece of granite curb and replace it. And that's a rounded curb, too, so its not going to be cheap or easy!""Yeah, I know. But there must be an alternative to fixing my mistake correctly. What should I do?""How about you just shove a

Citizen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07735916191064962595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-79037945745915451552009-07-27T11:40:00.006-04:002009-07-27T13:44:10.368-04:00

Watch out, Cambridge. Looks like things are getting medieval around here. You might think this is just a toy that some kid accidentally left on the side of a planter, but I wouldn't be so sure. I wouldn't be surprised if this is a sign of a mini revolution. A hostile invasion of plastic goth horses in mid Cambridge might be about to take place. And I can't say that we don't deserve it.climate:

citizen smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05673003502446347863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-12159444759793598612009-07-25T14:53:00.003-04:002009-07-26T15:41:56.228-04:00

Cream Squad?? Cream Squad? Look, I can respect that schools out, the weather's finally decent, and all the summer jobs have been taken by out of work 30-somethings, so there's not much left for the local youths to do but form a gang. I get that. But kids, you have got to come up with a better name. Unless your gang activities involve pay per view and using mom's tissues at an alarming rate- in

Citizen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07735916191064962595noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669367271358125409.post-27167410475593194612009-07-25T13:00:00.000-04:002009-07-25T10:45:06.091-04:00

Here's how to play:1. I observe something while I'm out and about that I determine is crazy or otherwise interesting.2. I take a picture, in doing so possibly embarrassing/enraging the crazy/interesting subject.3. I tell you all about it here in a witty and sarcastic manner, including a map location so you can witness for yourself if you don't believe me.4. You keep coming back for more, tell

Citizen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07735916191064962595noreply@blogger.com0